The Reality of Why I Choose to Share My Bed

I have written in the past on the benefits of cosleeping and the scientific evidence that supports the reasoning that in most cases it is the most beneficial arrangement to the child and family. (I say most, because if you’re a drug addict, smoker or obese then its probably not the best case scenario) 

But today I wanted to share a little bit of why it works for me personally.

Looking Past the Immense Benefits of CoSleeping – The Reality of Why I Choose to Share My Bed….



Waking Elizabeth up in the morning



1. I Value My Sleep Immeasurably.

I tend to get about an average of 8 hours of sleep during the weekdays (please take into consideration that I even wake up at 4:30am to veg around and get ready in the mornings!)

… During the weekend I get about 10 hours of sleep, remember I have a near 2 year old in the house.

I have no doubt in my mind that sleeping with my whole family has contributed to this sleep pattern.

In the early years, I never even had to get out of bed when Elizabeth was a baby. My husband would change her diaper and bring her back to me. I would feed her and we would both doze off to dream land. Those infamous horror stories I was warned about pre-birth never perpetuated into reality.

I kind-of actually look forward to nights with my new baby who is due in just a few short months…

Here is an short reference to show that I’m not blowing smoke up everyone’s, umm……

“Every scientific study concludes that parents who bring their babies to

bed sleep longer and better.” [1]

2. It Makes Being Super Mom Really Easy

So, sometimes Elizabeth will wake up from a dead sleep into a frantic stage of panic. These times are very far and few between but I imagine it’s from a bad dream (someone stole her favorite green boots) or maybe it is because of the pain from those molars coming in all at once… but less then 5 seconds will elapse and she is soundly back to sleep. Shoot, I’m not even sure my husband wakes up.

There’s not even time for me to rip my shirt open to show the ‘S’ on my chest before we’re all back snoring.

I attribute my ninja-like reflexes in soothing my little lady to being in such close proximity to her. I know if she was sleeping in the other room it would take at least a minute for me to get my groggy ass up in the middle of the night … this is not even taking in consideration that she would have to at least cry or scream out for a bit to wake me or my husband up.

I can’t imagine how that feels to a small child being left alone in a dark room by themselves when they are frightened or feeling lonely. I know most adults don’t want to be alone when they are terrified or lonesome.

What can say, I love the immediate response time that I have to sooth my child and plus it gets me back to sleep quicker! 

Super Mom to the rescue!



3 Months Old, well rested mama



3. The Birth of a (Social) Butterfly

Let me preface this next reason with the reality that I personally have dealt with some real debilitating issues with anxiety in the past and my husband is not the most social individual on the planet. I can count both of our friends on one hand.

I do however try and set an example by greeting people when I walk into a room and of course giving my thanks when someone holds a door open for me. I do not, however, tell me daughter to say hello or thank you (since I feel she can say hello or thanks if she genuinely feels like it).

With that being said…

I see my daughter and it amazes me. She says hello and greets every single person we walk by at the grocery store, she says hello to the cars that drive by outside our house, she greets strangers like close friends. She has the confidence and self esteem of 50 adults.

I’ve read many, many studies proclaiming confidence and independence in young children that cosleep, but I am now fully entrenched with the fall out.

It’s amazing and it truly blows me away.

Here’s another short reference that I am evoked to share here:

“Children who share sleep with their parents are actually more independent than their peers. They perform better in school, have higher self esteem,

and fewer health problems.” [1]

4. Shhh, listen… I Think God is Talking.

I get vast satisfaction in listening to my daughter breathe at night and share in her warmth (she’s like a mini oven). I’m not sure if I need to go further in explanation here, but her breath and warmth is the closest I come to the Divine every day.

When I wake up in the middle of the night and I can’t go back to sleep right away, I lay there, snuggle close and listen.

What I hear and feel I cannot explain in words.

I am grateful to experience this while I can.



Happy Family of 4 (soon-to-be)



5. Unless I’m Over 50, The Bed is Not The Only Place For A Fun Time.

(no offense for people over 50)

Many people presume that because there is a child that sleeps in our bed that means that me and my husband don’t get to be intimate. I’m not going to get into too much detail here because I’m a lady and I don’t kiss and tell.

But if you didn’t catch on yet – I’m pregnant again…. So we haven’t had any issues in that department….

In fact, I feel that it is unfortunate that many people are only having relations in their bed. There are many other fun places to take part in the fun.

1 Co-sleeping - Another Way to Promote Infant Health by Jennifer Coburn

Jennifer Coburn is the author of Take Back Your Power: A Working Woman's Response to Sexual Harassment, which recently won an honorable mention from the National Women's Heritage Museum book awards and an Outstanding Book Award from the Myers Center for the Study of Human Rights in North America.

Here are some other articles on cosleeping that I enjoy.

2 Ten Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Child at Night by Jan Hunt

3 http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/co-sleeping-benefits.html

4 Keller, Meret and Wendy Goldberg. ‘Co-Sleeping: Help or hinderance for young children’s indepence.” 14 Dec 2004. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/icd.365/abstract