Research Confirms Risks of Spanking - So Why Are We Still Doing It?

Spanking is perhaps one of THE most strongly debated parenting issues out there and I can pretty much guarantee that no matter how I approach this subject someone will take offense or feel judged by it.

So, just in case -

Disclaimer:  I am not judging YOU. In fact, my consideration towards the act of judgment is that it results in a shut down of the free-flowing exchange of information and alternatively opens up the gate to tension, polarization and insensitivity. My goal in this post is to offer information that I have gathered – I urge every parent to use this as a catalyst to learn more.

Discipline is one component of proficient parenting and every family (and each parent) has a unique way of teaching what is/is not acceptable conduct.

In the United States, corporal punishment (CP) is used by parents of toddlers roughly 50% of the time as a means of communicating what is/is not tolerable. That number was seen to increase up to 94% when kids reach preschool age.[*][*] 

cor·po·ral pun·ish·ment

           

a form of physical punishment that involves the deliberate infliction of pain as retribution for an offence, or for the purpose of disciplining

**for the research referenced below corporal punishment signifies non-injurious, openhanded hitting with the intention of modifying child behavior

These numbers shouldn’t be all that surprising, after all, us parents learn how to parent from our own parents and in the United States corporal punishment has a strong tradition.[*][*] 

Fortunately, tradition transforms over time as the understanding and knowledge of a society is advanced and broadened. Unfortunately, societal change typically occurs at a much slower rate then the contribution of data is accumulated.[*]

The knowledge base of corporal punishment on children has grown over the last several decades building upon hundreds of research studies in several diverse fields: psychology, medicine, sociology, social work and education.[*]

What does the large majority of research reveal regarding discipline that incorporates CP?

Putting Kids at Greater Risk

The vast amount of data that has been accumulated over all disciplines supports that corporal punishment (physical discipline, spanking) is no more effective than other forms of punishment.  Most importantly, not only it is no more effective but this form of correction exposes the child to added adverse effects.[*][*] 

In an unprecedented degree of consistency, 94% of the 117 tests reviewed in an 88 study meta-analysis confirmed that CP is associated with an increase in harmful side effects (these studies controlled for ‘parental warmth which illustrates that CP is harmful even when it is performed by loving parents): [*][*][*]

Increase in:

Aggression

Delinquency in childhood

Crime (as an adult)

Antisocial behavior

Depression

Anxiety

Physical aggression toward parent(s)

Physical aggression toward dating partner

Sibling rivalry

Vulnerability to stress

Decrease in:

Empathy

Parent-child relationship

Cognitive development/abilities

Scores in educational achievement

Language comprehension

Self-esteem

I understand not every child who is spanked or slapped for discipline purposes will develop all, or any, of the above negative outcomes listed – however, it is abundantly apparent that corporal punishment places a child at risk for both short and long tem negative effects.[*][*]

The Immediate Need to Adjust Behavior in Safety Scenarios

Effective discipline can be analyzed in three time periods: immediate, short-term (hours/days) and long term (months/years).[*]

There remains a consensus that spanking is the most effective means in stopping misbehavior in an immediate need. In fact, this is one of the main listed benefits in using CP.

For example, if your child repeatedly grabs pots off the stove or is baiting his/her luck running into traffic - safety is paramount and if spanking works best, then this might trump any future adverse risk(s) that may or may not come to fruition.

If corporal punishment is effective when other methods fail in this instance, it would debatable to eliminate spanking. However, tremendous evidence exist from short-term prospective studies on this particular issue that show this is not the case.[*] 

This may not be all that surprising, but, when it comes to toddlers, research shows that every mode of discipline has a high short-tem failure rate. This is because it takes a great deal of time and many repetitions for standards in behavior to be internalized.[*][*] 

But when it comes to spanking, at least two other factors interfere with it being the best choice.

1 Interference of Cognitive Function

For a young child, being struck by a parent is a frightening event. The negative emotions felt be young children (sadness, anger, humiliation, shame, fright, stress, etc.) are able to result in cognitive deficits which impede learning and may be one explanation for the elevated failure rate among spanking in the long-term.[*][*] 

2 Absences of Explanation, Strategy, & Resolution in Conflict Situations   

Parents may offer an explanation along with corporal punishment which may reduce adverse effects however, they are not eliminated.[*]

Consider what a child is denied when a parent resorts to spanking as a form of discipline: The opportunity for the child to observe and participate (age-appropriately) in resolution strategies that are important to learn in future life situations are diminished (such as explanation, creating appropriate alternatives, and compromises).[*]

But Why Do Most Parents Think Spanking is More Effective?

Perception

Although the high-failure rate of spanking is observable, few perceive it.[*][*]

Children who were spanked had an increase in misbehavior two years later, whereas children who were not spanked had a decrease in misbehavior.[*][*]

When a child throws a toy at their brother or sister and the parent explains that the behavior will not be tolerated and places them in time out….  the child does it again a few hours later – the ineffectiveness of time-out is attributed to the repetition of behavior.

But if the child is spanked and required to be spanked again it is not perceived as being ineffective – instead, it is indicated that the child merely needs spanked again.

However, the existing literature overwhelming supports the understanding that all methods of discipline, including CP, have a high failure rate in young children.[*] 

It is the consistency and persistence of the discipline used that makes it effective.[*]

Repetition of spanking a child will result in compliance – as will other discipline methods.

The consistency and persistence used by parents that support spanking are precisely right but unfortunately they are applying a method that has increased risk of harmful side effects.

In fact, the majority of studies completed demonstrate that spanking does not have the effects parents intend; rather it has the reverse effect of increasing undesirable behaviors.

Information

Parents may perceive CP as effective, if not more then other discipline methods because they are not informed of the possible long-term effects. (see above)

Now – all methods of discipline are likely to carry side effects; in fact, the end-goal to discipline is behavior modification. However, there are tremendous amounts of evidence illustrating that the side effects associated with spanking is not something a parent would desire. (again, see list above)

This underscores the urgency for professionals that work with parents to advise them of the detrimental consequences coupled with spanking/ hitting a child which is supported by research.[*] 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not endorse spanking under any circumstance. According to the AAP, it is a form of punishment that becomes less effective with repeated use.[*][*]




If a person is more affluent and better educated,

they are less likely to support corporal punishment

in children (Source: 2003 TGI  Brasil)

 

Should There Be a Ban on Spanking?

Using the world as a compass

Beginning with Sweden in 1979, over the last 34 years there has been a total of 33 counties to ban the practice of corporal punishment of children by parents, teachers or any other adult.[*][*][*]

Sweden pioneered the way by using informational campaigns and meetings with parents to inform them of spanking there are other options that are as effective.[*][*]  

The purpose of banning CP is not to put parents in jail. Rather, it is about prevention. It is to encourage attitudes and practices to promote nonviolent methods of child rearing. This hopefully lessens the likelihood of children at greater risk of physical punishment (those who come from a lower socio-economic background, minorities, and those with disabilities).[*][*][*]   

Corporal punishment in homes and schools remains constitutional in the United States. (You can review the State by State comparison here on the laws protecting children for physical punishment)

The countries that have banned corporal punishment did so on the basis of human rights obligations, supported by the very strong research evidence of the potential damage that this type of corrective discipline presents.[*][*]


Conclusion

I do find it ironic that the research illustrating the risks of CP is largely gathered and published in the United States, however the data is informing legal and policy changes in other countries around the world before it has any impact here.[*][*]

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that every parent is doing the best of their ability with the resources available to them.

I hope the information presented here facilitates just one parent that uses corporal punishment to consider learning more about other means of discipline that may carry less risk to their child(ren). 

"Violence against children, including corporal punishment, is a violation of the rights of the child. It conflicts with the child's human dignity and the right of the child to physical integrity. It also prevents children from reaching their full potential, by putting at risk their right to health, survival and development. The best interests of the child can never be used to justify such practice" [*]

-UN Deputy High Commissioner for Human Rights, Kyung-wha Kang

Some resources for learning more about effective discipline:

Effective Discipline Techniques for Parents

University of Florida IFAS Extension

Cassandra Deas and Eboni J Baugh

Positive Discipline Techniques

CWLA (Child Welfare League of America)

American Academy of Pediatrics – Guidance for Effective Discipline

Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health

1998

101 Positive Discipline Techniques

Discipline & Punishment

Family Education Network Website  (Pearson Education, Inc.)

Elizabeth O Cooper

7 Steps To Bliss

Through my teen years to my mid-twenties, I had ‘managed’ depression and anxiety in many defective ways: drugs, promiscuity, self-inflicted injury, alcohol, prescription medication, avoidance. None of these were long-lasting or beneficial.

And then there was a period in my life where my perception of the world and my purpose in it shifted. I began recognizing myself in others and appreciating myself for who I truly am (who we all are): each of us unique and with a divine purpose - who is happy, sometimes.

Come ‘on – we aren’t ALWAYS happy. My goal in this post is not to act like if you do any of the following things in your life you will be a happy person - In fact, ‘happy’ is a loaded word.  

Am I a much ‘happier’ person now that I incorporate the following list into my life – sure. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad or angry or overwhelmed at times.

I think the key is actually feeling the uncomfortable emotion at that time – which is the opposite of what we automatically think or what may be acceptable. I mean, who wants to feel sad? Who wants to feel pissed off?

But the thing is, if you stuff it – then you will eventually feel it and its going to more drawn out and gritty then if you would have just dealt with it all at that time.

However, I digress…let’s just agree that feeling sad or angry isn’t ‘right or wrong’ anymore then being happy or peaceful.

The following has helped me find joy within myself and I hope it does the same for you.

Step 1    Take Care of Yourself

I mean really take care of yourself. This may be of the most influential step listed.

Some Most of us were never taught nor had a role model in our lives that provided a decent example on how to take care of our bodies. And an occasional gym and health class in high school doesn’t quite lend a knowledgeable foundation to use throughout a lifetime.

Luckily, all a person needs to the willingness to learn and to love themselves - if you are reading this, then there is a good chance you are at least doing one of these two.

Obviously, nutrition directly effects your physical, mental (focus) and emotional energy. Start by being more aware of what you eat. Watch a documentary (Food Inc and Forks Over Knives is excellent).

Foods that possess clinical evidence to combat depression are foods with omega-3 fatty acids (think salmon and tuna) and folic acid (such as spinach and avocado). [*][*][*][*][*][*]

If there was a superstar in your arsenal of self care then it would most definitely be exercise.

Chemically speaking, getting physical has been repeatedly supported by science to be as effective as antidepressants – with no side effects (well, maybe a smaller waistline and higher self esteem). [*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*]

Here is a really good read with more information on how to start taking care of yourself: What it means to really take care of yourself.

Step 2    Drop the Comparisons

You might not now it yet – but I’m going to let you in on something...

Comparing yourself to others is poisonous.

Social comparisons and over thinking situations is simply a (bad) habit – it’s not something that we were instinctually born to do. Which is a good thing – it means we can learn to stop.

If you find yourself stewing over an event, rehashing something someone has done/said to you or simply being critical of another – stop.

‘Well, it’s not that easy’

Yes. Yes - it is. Stop right now and do something else. 

What someone else is doing is their business (unless it is hurting someone obviously); mind your own business because it’s bad for your health.

If you are hell bent on comparing yourself to someone, then compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself. 

Step 3   Do Something Creative or New

Becoming aware of your emotions seems easy, yet as we grow up get really good at two things that hinder our ability to do this (1) denial (2) denial.

If you are wondering exactly how to become better aware of what you are truly feeling then incorporating something creative in your life is hands down the most effective way to ‘tune in’ - simply draw, dance, sing, or listen/play music.

When you are being creative, you automatically become more aware of your emotions not to mention it is an amazing way to release/vent/express any negative emotions simmering inside.

If you aren’t that creative (or even if you are) then go somewhere or do something new.

Go to the museum. Start reading a new book. Go for a bike ride. Take a class. Volunteer.

When we do something new you are altering the levels of dopamine in the brain which is intrinsically link to depression/enjoyment. [*]

Step 4    EXPRESS Gratitude

Talk about beating a dead horse – we hear over and over again how important it is to be grateful in our lives.

Sure, people generically say they are grateful for the wonderful things in their life (kids, house, friends, family, job, etc.) but exactly how do they express it?

What action results from your gratefulness?

This is the key that isn’t mentioned – probably because people generally don’t want to have to exert any extra effort into the things in their life. (Another reason why step 1 is so crucial-where else are you going to get the extra energy needs to be expressing gratitude all day?)

Try this first step – tell someone how grateful you are to have them in your life…and then tell them again the next day.

Smile at someone that you appreciate.

Say thank you and make sure you look at the person when saying it.

Pause and give some of your time to think about a few reasons associated with why you are grateful for something.

When we give time and effort to appreciate the things in our life those things and people increase in value in our lives.

Step 5    Continually Forgive Yourself

No one can beat you up better then you.

The kicker – you’re really good at and you may not even be aware that you are doing it.

There are many things in my life that I look back and think – wow, I would never do those things today. However, all of those ‘mistakes’ have contributed in helping me becoming the person I am today.

Before you are able to forgive anyone in your life, you must be willing to cut yourself a break.

At some point in your life, you’ll come to realize that you did the best you could given the conditions of your life at that time. Once we realize that about ourselves – you understand that it applies to everyone else and forgiveness of others becomes easier.

Step 6   Practice a Spiritual Life

There is something to be said about what happens when we recognize that life is bigger than us.

Not only does science substantiated the claim that spirituality diminishes depression, but the way you experience life is transformed when you consider that we’re all in this together. [*][*][*][*]

Live your faith.

Practice it.

What have you done in the past 24 hours that expresses your most deeply held beliefs?

Step 7    Love VS Fear

Love and fear are ultimately the most powerful and basic forms of human emotion.

Both of these emotions hold the potential to inspire extreme behavior (dying for another/killing another). But it seems that fear tends to paralyze rather than empower.

This step isn’t as easy as simply deciding one day to live from a fear-based outlook to one that is based on love. It takes a shift in perspective and may take practice and patience.

For me, I recognize that every breath that is taken in this life is a precious gift bestowed to us for one purpose and that is to love each other the best we can.

Do not focus on what is not your purpose. Obstacles in life cannot be controlled.

In fact, the challenges in your life are not by accident.

What this world has been trying to tell you this whole time is… “I love you and everything will be alright.” (and don’t we all need to hear this)

Once we hear this message - more importantly, once you experience it – it’s effortless to come from a place of love and share that with the world. 

The Guiding Light of Conscious Parenting: Body Autonomy

As a woman and a mother, I was blessed to experience the growth and giving of a life (two beautiful lives actually).

For 10 months, my daughters were a part me - our bodies were one. When I felt happy (or fearful), waves of hormones rushed through them and they felt as I did. 

My voice was theirs.

My destination, theirs.

However, when the time was ready, they detached and became their own.  

It is with incredible responsiblity and priviledge to be able teach our children how to nourish and protect their body. For me, there are two main approaches to developing body autonomy.

Modeling as a the Supreme Teacher for Psychological & Physical Autonomy

Modeling is the supreme route in which most of life's lessons can be instilled.

Having a body can be challenging work sometimes. We have to teach our children how to nourish it properly and protect it the best they can. This can be physical - simple, everyday things we may not give much thought to are becoming the building blocks in which our children learn to understand their bodies - using our seat belts, eating vegtables, growing a garden, brushing our teeth, exercising.  

However, in a psychological sense, children are particularly receptive to our response and actions in the most challenging times in our life. In these times, we may not want them to see us - we aren't normally in our best state when death, loss or basic frustration occurs in our life. However, we must not waver in our ability to be aware that a child is like a parched sponge in the hot desert sand - absorbing all of our actions and emotions at these times.

This in no way implies that we must attain perfection at all times  - there will be times, repeatedly, that we slip up.

We’ll have a rough day at work and be grumpy.

We’ll get into an argument with a friend and say something we don’t mean.

We’ll slam a door or raise our voice.

We’ll cry.

We’ll be quiet, and gloomy.

None of these actions or emotions are wrong.

What is problematic is letting these actions define who we are – showing a child their emotion identifies who they are.

Helpful to a child: "Sometimes you’ll feel mad/sad/scared and it’s normal.  Although you may feel this way sometimes, none of these feelings is who you are. You are beautiful, spirited, and loved."

Not helpful: "I get angry/sad/scared and this is just a part of who I am. I have a temper. I am just a depressed person. I have a phobia."

The key is awareness. For me, when I trip up, I am quick to acknowledge it to my kids in a way they can understand. Body autonomy is about the psychological as much as the physical.

Reverence for Their Body

  

As our children grow, it is important for us to teach them to develop ownership over their body. This is important because they will need this foundation as they grow-particularly girls. 

One example... In the past, I have written about piercing my daughters' ears and how, for me, this is a choice I decided against.

I know in the scope of things piercing my daughter’s ears doesn’t seem to be big deal. However, to me it can be if we let it (and I think there are good benefits if it is). I want my daughters to know that it’s not my place to modify their body.

I will help them trim their nails and keep their hair cut to a manageable length, until they have the means to do this management of their bodies themselves – but piercing does not enhance their quality of life, it’s painful and carries significant risks over, say, just changing a diaper or cleaning their ears. If I wait to allow them to decide if they would like their ears pierced or not, then there is an opportunity to learn responsibility in caring for it.

Spanking and physical punishment can also be addressed here. I do not support physical punishment (spanking) out of respecting my daughters’ body. Although I do agree to a certain point that a parent can spank a child and not hurt them physically (too much) – however, it is not about pain inflicted or reducing an unwanted behavior for a short time.

What it is about is imparting the lesson that it is never acceptable use physical force over another person for any reason. Avoiding physical punishment (spanking) also increases the opportunities you get to show your children language skills in resolving conflict –actually communicating about a problem…NOT smacking, spanking or hitting to get a problem to resolve itself.

..…

For just a short period of their lives children are a part of our body  - and then comes the time when we are blessed with the great responsibility in showing them what a precious and beautiful gift they are to this world.

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,

not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Children Chapter IV by Khalil Gibran