Narcissism in a Nutshell
Oh, the charm and charisma. The love of your life. Yes, at times, he seems to have anger problems often without notice, but he’s the one that makes you dream and captivates your imagination. You've never met anyone in your life like him but interestingly, you've also never sacrificed more.
Current studies show that approx. 1 out of every 10 people you meet today has NPD.[*]
Below are common traits held by people with NPD: [*][*]
•An exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements
•A constant need for attention, affirmation and praise
•Persistent fantasies about attaining success
•Exploiting other people for personal gain
•A sense of entitlement
•Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of him or her
•A lack of empathy for others
•Very sensitive to criticism, often viewed as a personal attack
Codependent Cinderella Loves to Dance
•Being a people pleaser and lacking assertiveness
•Being indirect or untruthful about your feelings
•Avoiding your feelings or denying your feelings
•Having low self-esteem
•Over-controlling, such as perfectionism or hyper-cleanliness
What I needed was to get angry.
In the beginning you are put on a pedestal, the queen of his world, no one can be more perfect. He can’t get enough of you. And within a short time suddenly you are being criticized, called dumb, crazy.[*]
A swing from total idealization to complete devaluation.
One day you are the greatest person on earth, but when you don’t do or say something they want you to, or you ask something of them that they don’t want to do - they demean you.
This is repeated over and over, for as long as you are willing to take it. [*]
While in the manic phase, he is talkative and gregarious. In the depressive phase he is passively-aggressively silent and distant. He wavers between being imaginative and being dull, being social and being antisocial, being obsessed with achievement and lying in bed for hours. [*]
No matter how things were going to end, I knew that I would be made out to be the villain - and being someone that strived to please everyone, all the time – this idea was crippling.
I didn’t want people to hate me. I needed people to love me. I needed him to love me. I needed him. HIM.
But it was all a charade. I recognized that he would give of himself only if there is something to be gained. Once he was out of my house, he was looking for someone else in less than 24 hours on dating sites and social media.
Your instincts are your armor. Use them. Trust them.