Curious about who I am? Posts about health and natural birth Resources and posts regarding vaccines and informed consent Posts about Parenting and Relationships Spirituality and Life Lessons Email me Home

Mommy Guilt and UnCrunchy Things I Admit To

I think we’ve all been there...

The “I-wish-I-didn’t-know-better” blues.

Whether you consider yourself an alternative momma (aka crunchy) or not, there’s no doubt that it’s easy to beat yourself up about the things that we know we are cabable of but aren’t doing currently in our life.

A blog I follow recently addressed this titled, I Want Out Of The Hippie Club”. She went on to describe her feelings as such:

“Sometimes I get so overwhelmed.  Sometimes I wish I didn't know better about stuff.”

“I used to like being a crunchy mom.  I still mostly like it.  But sometimes?  It suffocates me.  It's overwhelming.  It's just. so. heavy.  And I fail so. often.”

”So, sometimes, I want out of the hippie club.  Just for one night I
'd like to not care about this heavy stuff.  Just for one night, I'd like to know what it's like to be clueless and careless.”

I think it’s improtant to realize we all feel overwhelmed at times and it’s ok. Give yourself enough room to breathe and realize what this feeling actually is – it’s’s personal development….it’s the realization that you are better then yesterday and will be better tomorrow then you are today.

It can be overwhelming, but think of the alternative- becoming stagnate or even regressing. What does that teach yourself, your children, your partner or your friends?

When you have a rough day or get the “I-wish-I-didn’t-know-better” blues remember no parent is doing this perfect in respect to the cookie cutter-imagine we should be…but we are living perfectly in respect of our individual intention and purpose…as long as we continue to put effort into growth and happiness – no matter if that means cloth diapers or disposibles; babywearing or using a stroller; buying organic, local strawberries or settling for the ones shipped up from Mexico.

The following list is dedicated to the High Heelwearing Hippie Mommy. Don’t forget we are all on this journey together! You and your blog inspire me and I know that inspiration shines through me to others – you are touching more people then you realize!

NonCrunchy Things I Totally Admit To:

I totally dye my hair.

I did not eat, bury or keep my placenta. I have no idea what happened to the thing.

I was not brave enough to even try EC.

I sometimes still use hot water in my washing machine, even when I buy the cold water detergent.

I paint my daughter’s nails with regular nail polish.

I serve hot dogs from time to time.

I wear make-up that isn’t even close to being made with natural ingredients.

I use non-stick pans even when I have regular pans available.

I sometimes use the lotion that has chemicals in it to turn your skin tan.

I use plug-in air fresheners in my home and do not own soy candles (which I’m pretty sure isn’t crunchy).

I know just because I admit to the above actions doesn’t mean I’m going to do these for the rest of my life nor that I won’t add to this list. For me, feeling guilty or regretful doesn’t serve any purpose in my life. Guilt and regret are only present when graditute is absent.

Advice for those “I-wish-I-didn’t-know-better” moments? Remember your blessings and remember we never stop growing, even if we are the parents now. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, in fact, it’s not going to be – but believe me, it’s worth trying.

What noncrunchy things do you admit to??

“It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.
I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it myself”
– Joyce Maynard

Picture: The book Love Me Mom: A Guilt-Free Guide to Honoring Yourself and Empowering Your Kids’ explores the importance of falling in love with yourself and parenting from a perspective of self-care and personal responsibility.


  1. Anonymous2/27/2012

    Why is there such a competition to be more crunchy than everyone else? It's become another way to conform to groupthink. Why not just do want you want without defending it? Genuinely curious about this.

  2. Thanks Amanda! It's so true - we need to leave the guilt behind and think positively about the things we aspire to, rather than guilty about all the things we need to do better! :)

  3. Anonymous -

    I'm not sure what competition you are refering to in this post??

    My aim in this post was to talk about how I don't don't see my miscomings as defeat, rather as an opportunity for personal growth - and the opportunity to lend support to others that feel the weight of motherhood.

    I don't feel like I am attempting to defending anything .... or that I am making anything out to be a competition...

    I feel like sometimes we see into things exactly what we are looking for - are you looking for a competition??

  4. Anonymous2/29/2012

    You need to recycle.

  5. coulda-woulda-shoulda.

    I like to focus on the great things I AM doing. Definately doesn't mean that I will not recycle in the future, I have bets that I will - I'm just admitting that I'm not perfect and that I am growing just like everyone else!

  6. I don't always buy organic food, because I can't afford to!
    I've just started recycling again :)
    I dye my hair also; bleached and dyed it about 5 times when I was 32 weeks pregnant in an attempt to go from reddishbrown back to blonde...

    actually otherwise I'm pretty super crunchy. I own a cowshare, shop at the farmer's market, EC/cloth diaper, wear my baby everywhere and mostly free-range parent, eat mostly doesn't get much crispier than that, lol. I even tried to rebel and get Tide detergent, but my husband had a rash from it, so I had to go back to the natural stuff!

  7. Love this Sara lol ; )

  8. What is EC? Guess I am not doing that either...

    I still dye my hair (although it's the ammonia-free kind)

    I am still buying non-organic chicken (can't bring myself to pay $20 a bird!) although we mostly eat wild game or beef from my cousin's farm.

    I use 'regular' shampoo and conditioner...but make all of the other soaps...well, minus dish soap adn dish-washer detergent.

    Not doing all that I would liek but definitely doing as much as I can!

    I can definitely relate to sometimes feeling like I wish I didn't 'know'. It can be so overwhelming but after a bit of self-bashing I usually come to the conclusion that I am doing all I can at this time. Of course, I do maintain a list of stuff I'd like to implement! :)

    1. Thanks for the comment Jenifer!

      EC is an acronym for elimination communication - from my understanding you learn to read the cues of your baby to learn when he/she has to go to the bathroom. Its a form of early potty training.

      I think we all have a list of what we would like to do someday - I feel like its healthy to have certain goals in life :) We just need to learn to stop beating ourselves and others up when it takes a bit longer to achieve them


Please be respectful. If you are about to say something that you would not let your child hear, then please refrain from saying it.