Curious about who I am? Posts about health and natural birth Resources and posts regarding vaccines and informed consent Posts about Parenting and Relationships Spirituality and Life Lessons Email me Home

The Reality of Why I Choose to Share My Bed

I have written in the past on the benefits of cosleeping and the scientific evidence that supports the reasoning that in most cases it is the most beneficial arrangement to the child and family. (I say most, because if you’re a drug addict, smoker or obese then its probably not the best case scenario) 

But today I wanted to share a little bit of why it works for me personally.

Looking Past the Immense Benefits of CoSleeping – The Reality of Why I Choose to Share My Bed….

Waking Elizabeth up in the morning

1. I Value My Sleep Immeasurably.

I tend to get about an average of 8 hours of sleep during the weekdays (please take into consideration that I even wake up at to veg around and get ready in the mornings!)

… During the weekend I get about 10 hours of sleep, remember I have a near 2 year old in the house.

I have no doubt in my mind that sleeping with my whole family has contributed to this sleep pattern.

In the early years, I never even had to get out of bed when Elizabeth was a baby. My husband would change her diaper and bring her back to me. I would feed her and we would both doze off to dream land. Those infamous horror stories I was warned about pre-birth never perpetuated into reality.

I kind-of actually look forward to nights with my new baby who is due in just a few short months…

Here is an short reference to show that I’m not blowing smoke up everyone’s, umm……

“Every scientific study concludes that parents who bring their babies to
bed sleep longer and better.” [1]

2. It Makes Being Super Mom Really Easy

So, sometimes Elizabeth will wake up from a dead sleep into a frantic stage of panic. These times are very far and few between but I imagine it’s from a bad dream (someone stole her favorite green boots) or maybe it is because of the pain from those molars coming in all at once… but less then 5 seconds will elapse and she is soundly back to sleep. Shoot, I’m not even sure my husband wakes up.

There’s not even time for me to rip my shirt open to show the ‘S’ on my chest before we’re all back snoring.

I attribute my ninja-like reflexes in soothing my little lady to being in such close proximity to her. I know if she was sleeping in the other room it would take at least a minute for me to get my groggy ass up in the middle of the night … this is not even taking in consideration that she would have to at least cry or scream out for a bit to wake me or my husband up.

I can’t imagine how that feels to a small child being left alone in a dark room by themselves when they are frightened or feeling lonely. I know most adults don’t want to be alone when they are terrified or lonesome.

What can say, I love the immediate response time that I have to sooth my child and plus it gets me back to sleep quicker! 

Super Mom to the rescue!

3 Months Old, well rested mama

3. The Birth of a (Social) Butterfly

Let me preface this next reason with the reality that I personally have dealt with some real debilitating issues with anxiety in the past and my husband is not the most social individual on the planet. I can count both of our friends on one hand.

I do however try and set an example by greeting people when I walk into a room and of course giving my thanks when someone holds a door open for me. I do not, however, tell me daughter to say hello or thank you (since I feel she can say hello or thanks if she genuinely feels like it).

With that being said…

I see my daughter and it amazes me. She says hello and greets every single person we walk by at the grocery store, she says hello to the cars that drive by outside our house, she greets strangers like close friends. She has the confidence and self esteem of 50 adults.

I’ve read many, many studies proclaiming confidence and independence in young children that cosleep, but I am now fully entrenched with the fall out.

It’s amazing and it truly blows me away.

Here’s another short reference that I am evoked to share here:

“Children who share sleep with their parents are actually more independent than their peers. They perform better in school, have higher self esteem,
and fewer health problems.” [1]

4. Shhh, listen… I Think God is Talking.

I get vast satisfaction in listening to my daughter breathe at night and share in her warmth (she’s like a mini oven). I’m not sure if I need to go further in explanation here, but her breath and warmth is the closest I come to the Divine every day.

When I wake up in the middle of the night and I can’t go back to sleep right away, I lay there, snuggle close and listen.

What I hear and feel I cannot explain in words.

I am grateful to experience this while I can.

Happy Family of 4 (soon-to-be)

5. Unless I’m Over 50, The Bed is Not The Only Place For A Fun Time.

(no offense for people over 50)

Many people presume that because there is a child that sleeps in our bed that means that me and my husband don’t get to be intimate. I’m not going to get into too much detail here because I’m a lady and I don’t kiss and tell.

But if you didn’t catch on yet – I’m pregnant again…. So we haven’t had any issues in that department….

In fact, I feel that it is unfortunate that many people are only having relations in their bed. There are many other fun places to take part in the fun.

Jennifer Coburn is the author of Take Back Your Power: A Working Woman's Response to Sexual Harassment, which recently won an honorable mention from the National Women's Heritage Museum book awards and an Outstanding Book Award from the Myers Center for the Study of Human Rights in North America.

Here are some other articles on cosleeping that I enjoy.

4 Keller, Meret and Wendy Goldberg. ‘Co-Sleeping: Help or hinderance for young children’s indepence.” 14 Dec 2004.


  1. Anonymous5/17/2011

    This is literally, and i'm not exaggerating, the worst written article on why to co-sleep i've ever read. First, you tell fat people not to co-sleep. Second, all you do is brag about why you are a better mother than people who do no not co-sleep. Yeah, that will get someone to choose co-sleeping. Thanks for giving us fellow co-sleepers a bad name.

  2. Thank you for your opinion.

    Please note that I prefaced the blog stating this is solely my own opinion.

    Safety of cosleeping should be noted, it is well documented that people who are obese, people who have sleeping disorders, people who are under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, or people with water beds should not cosleep.

    And yes, I think I’m an awesome mom, I’m glad I choose this for my family and it works for us, it may not work for someone else and that’s ok too.

    Thank you again.

  3. Anonymous5/17/2011

    Amanda-I have to say that I think that this article is wonderful! And exactly the reasons that we co-sleep as well! "What I hear and feel I cannot explain in words"-PRECISELY!!!
    Thank you, again!
    BTW...I notice that "Anonymous" didn't have the guts to put their name to their comment. it really is too bad that some are so closed minded & negative!!!

  4. Thank you so much Alycia! I'm not sure if its the pregnancy hormones, but I was really questioning myself there... the last thing I want to do is give people that choose co-sleeping a bad name : )

  5. Anonymous5/17/2011

    I don't think that you did at all! My son falls asleep with me in the LR, I put him in his bed & around the time we go to bed, he wakes up a little & we bring him to our bed. I love it! I get to spend an hour or two with my husband & I finish up what needs to be done for the next day of us working. And, I can watch my shows:)
    I've read articles elsewhere that have sited the same reasons as you have as to the benefits of co-sleeping & also, the people that should not co-sleep. Those are well documented and well researched facts!
    Don't doubt yourself!

  6. Hi Amanda,

    Im new to your blog and just love it! I co-slept with my dd until she was 9 months and than had to put her in the crib. She was waking every 2-3 hours to eat (which didnt bother me) and waking 2-3 hours to play (refused to go back to sleep which made me sleep deprived). It was also near impossible to get her to fall asleep (tried rocking, after a few months it stopped working and it would take over 2 hours to get her to sleep and shed wake up multiple times an hour wanting her pacifier). Anyway, when she started rolling and crawling we moved our bed to the floor but once she was able to crawl over the barriers I knew I had to put her in a crib. Do you have any tips on how your dd takes naps safely if not in a crib? What about at night? My dd rolls so much I would end up curled up at the end of the bed and exhausted lol. My DH sleeps in a separate room because of her waking up so frequently. Now that she is sleeping in her crib (She will be 10 months next week and has been sleeping in her crib for 3 weeks) she only wakes up 1-2 times at night and sleeps longer and better.
    Id love to have her sleep with me again (probably when shes a bit older, say around 2) I just fear that if she sleeps with me again its going to lead to her waking up all the time at night and wanting to play.

  7. Thanks for the comment Renee!

    We have a railing on our bed - we had railings on both sides, but now we just have it on my side. My daughter, when she wakes up from a nap, will just sit up and start talking or making sounds.. she knows that someone will be up there within seconds to get her : )

    I think it allowed me to develop super hearing and a super sense of determining on when she's up from a nap. lol

    In my parenting, i've always went along the lines of teaching her something instead of keeping her from the experience... for example, we've never had gates on our stairs.. she knows not to play on them- or we've never had locks on the "dangerous" cabinets because shes knows not to go in there....

    at first it took time to teach these lessons - its took alot of effort, but its pays off so much to teach a lesson instead of avoiding it. This is just what has worked for us though :)


Please be respectful. If you are about to say something that you would not let your child hear, then please refrain from saying it.