Fathers - The Unsung Heroes of Attachment Parenting

When a couple becomes a family and gives their first cuddles and kisses to a beautiful and precious child, they find themselves with a passionate and novel project: parenthood.

Leading up to this post, I tried to ask fathers about their thoughts on attachment parenting…those of who I considered to be part of an attachment parenting team. All of them had the same response in common…something to the effect of, “I don’t know what that is” ; “I didn’t realize I was ‘crunchy’ ” ; “I have no idea what that is”.

It’s extremely enlightening to see the men in these “crunchy” women’s lives completely unaffected by the labeling of AP, crunchy, alternative, granola, etc….

To them, it is simply how things are done in their house – things that work well for their family.

However, although they might not be aware of it, their role in attachment parenting is vital.

It is easy for a mom to become overwhelmed (especially in those early months) when they find themselves swimming against that forcible current of commonly held beliefs and practices held by their friends, family, media, doctors, coworkers, etc. 

This is where men excel in AP – creating a nurturing environment by supporting his partner. For a mother having put the extra time, effort and research into finding out what they feel is best – having a place absent of criticism where she can confide and find support is essential.

Breastfeeding is just one of a countless number of examples - Although men cannot breastfeed, their support in the breastfeeding relationship is enormous (especially if a mother decides to breastfeeding for longer then what is seen as ‘normal’). For me, I would have NEVER lasted without my husband’s support (and still lasting!) (thank you hun).

What I find special in attachment parenting dynamics is that with the development of the parent-child attachment relationship growing – as so does the wife-husband relationship grow.

A father is not pushed out by the bonds of a mother and child, but instead acts as an integral element. A successful attachment parenting team is not as formidable without a father’s conscientious presence, support and commitment.

For a healthy family dynamic, each family must find their own method of parenting style that works best for their situation. Parenting is demanding no matter how you define it – attachment, free style, conventional – and marriage should be progressive and always a work in progress.